Shadows Of Pain

POEM: Shadows of pain
POET: Prisca Nal

I acknowledge the knowledge of my inner trauma
The tomb of doom and gloom of my inner hell
Disparity and desperation of anguished desolation
The misery and dismay of discouraged dejection
The helpless disarray of wretched frustration
They are true Shadows of pain

Let me bring it fully to the surface
The repetitive cycles of my triggered reactions
I now consciously call forth my shadows to be seen
Shadows of pain restrict my purpose and service
Projecting judgment of darkened dreams of
True shadows of pain

Burned into my mind and scarred across my soul.
The old memories and emotions are returning
Anxiousness, emptiness, loneliness and sadness
The concealed eyes glowering with ill natured intent
Cycles turning, spirit burning, forever yearning
True Shadows of pain

Inner conflict clashing
Fear remains, pain sustained my aching brain
Reality quaking, shaking and breaking
With a lapse in judgment my shortcomings appear
Haunting my waking thoughts like ethereal wraith
True Shadows of pain

Rapid and short labored pants of my quickened breath
Struggling to breathe, short breaths, labored gasps
Cutting and crushing my faith
How much heart ache can my heart take
My head clasp thoughts too fast with
The shadows of pain

Emotional devastation with fear that is so frightening
Misfortune and distress of my sorrowful plight
Overwhelming anger surges liquid lightening
The dejection and rejection with not one exception
The scourge of fear threatening my very existence
They are shadows of pain

Brutal and barbaric reality
Tyrannical horrors, draining and terrorizing
The intimidation and domination of temptation
It has to be said
The obliteration of my vibration with soulless damnation
From the Shadows of pain

My mind is cracked and fractured
Fearfulness is an atrocious crime of torturous anguish
I languished in discomforting agony
Horrific savagery assails me while I beg for mercy
My inner angel attacked see the shadows of pain and accused

I feel furious callousness of monstrous heartlessness
The morose mood from the crushing saturnine weight
The fault of my misapprehension confounded within
Traumatic grief spurring soreness within my heart
Suffering in the silence of deafening inner violence
Feeling the shadows of pain

My soul crumbled as the shadows create a breach
Busted, broken and beyond repair
Inner judgment stemming from fragmented thoughts
Gut wrenching trepidation of soul destroying despair
Calling on the spirits of love to come to my aid
Not shadows of pain

Pining for peace from the merciful spirits
I pine and long for my soul song
Reaching out into the darkness with the fires ablaze
Slipping and shifting into deeper states of confusion
The miscalculation of logic leading to miscommunication
And Shadows of pain

The inhumane condition
Teeth biting at my heels to trip me up until I fall
Heartlessness and mindlessness
My shadows encompassing all
Outwardly repressed and inwardly depressed
Oh! shadows of pain

The squelch of my heart crushed in demonic hands
The hideousness that vanquished my inner serenity
Squeezing the life out of everything that I hold dear
How do I break through the wall of painful adversity?
The aberration of misconception and erroneous diagnosis
Shadows and shadows of pain

Crazed passions like a storm of outraged indignation
My nerves raw from the tension of apprehension
The shadows smash my fortress and my inner keep
The distraught destitution revealing my vulnerability
The quelling of my inner flame and my soulfulness
Shadows of pain

Defenseless, powerless and hopeless
The futility of isoloated inability
The innocence of life had been ripped and torn away
Immobilized darkened visions
The mirror shows great humiliation
Seeing shadows of pain

Collapsed upon the cold floor in a catatonic state
I awaken abruptly
My mournful moan is the only sound
The shadows dragged me down and I felt so small
I used to be strong
Worrisome shadows of pain

Wicked conceptions
Something is very wrong                                    But I was determined to hold on
Like a curse, things got worse, I cried out to the Jah
And then all of the shadows attacked and I yelled out
Shadows of pain

My strength drained away and I was unable to fight back
To the onslaught of viciousness I had no resistance
They tore my mind, heart and spirit asunder
And when I was low, lower than the lowest of lows
In the distance so far away I could hear a mighty thunder
Shattered shadows of pain

They looked like a massive wave moving through the sea
I was about to give up
But my Soul wasn’t ready, He rescued me
The sky was filled with angels that emanated a golden light
With swords of wisdom and shields of faith
Diminished shadows of pain

The violet flame of transmutation appeared all around
A tremendous bolt of healing energy filled me
Illuminating the chasm of infinite darkness
Divine love, light and compassion filled my heart and soul
My eyes snapped open shimmering with a golden hue
They were shadows of pain

Hovering in place                                         Holding space
Feeling the divine grace
By the shadowy assailants I was completely unfazed
I looked at my inner shadows and smiled
You shadows of pain

As I looked around there was no one else
I realigned myself
I am the master of my divine creatively
He is the master of creation
He is who He is
Ttey are only shadows of pain

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